Blood
Have you ever wonder how does it feel to grow up with your brothers and sisters, then later on find your ties severed from them, like forever?
I should not be discussing this, but I guess there is no one to talk to about this topic anyway. I am very glad that blogging came along when talking is impossible. I used to think that I will be happy if only I grew up far away from my siblings. I consider them monsters for their irritating schemes. But for five (5) years of not seeing them and a lifetime of not seeing them again gives me a sadness that I can't describe. I love my brothers and sisters. I might have done everything I could to provide their needs. If only they are my real brothers and sisters. If only we were of same father.
Alright. I know. It's not an issue.
But if you are in my situation, I think you would totally agree with me. If you would call the separation as blessing in disguise, then you are definitely right. I need to move out of the house to settle and find a place of my own. Not an apartment to stay with like all those 20+ something usually do. But I need to find a family that would keep me. Yes. You got it right. A family. But it is not an issue of having someone to adopt me.
As I have already discussed in my earlier blogs, Mom got an issue on being a parent. Well, I admit that she does not really understand the meaning of parenting. I think she sees it as a synonym for power. authority. But I do not judge her for that. I love her still as a daughter but I cannot risk my entire life with this kind of love. She ruined my chance for happiness once and I would not allow it now. You can call me selfish or brat but if you were forced into a situation where lives could be bought for a mere 25,ooo pesos then it is fine with me. You might find it exaggerated, but it is true.
I don't want to create confusion now so I will tell you what I meant on my statement above. In a certain society where I used to lived, they got this traditional way of acquiring a wife. They find the best one (someone who got a degree with good family background) and compensate it with a amount that both party will agree with. The bride to be can have the privilege to know that a transaction is going on or if she is unfortunate, she might end up forced into taht kind of life. If you would call it that way.
I hope you got the picture now of what I am trying to explain here.
Oh dear, it's rude to stop in the middle of a story telling but I got tons of work to do and need to accomplished before the end of the day. So I got to go for now and maybe, tomorrow I will be able to finish this post.
Ciao!
I should not be discussing this, but I guess there is no one to talk to about this topic anyway. I am very glad that blogging came along when talking is impossible. I used to think that I will be happy if only I grew up far away from my siblings. I consider them monsters for their irritating schemes. But for five (5) years of not seeing them and a lifetime of not seeing them again gives me a sadness that I can't describe. I love my brothers and sisters. I might have done everything I could to provide their needs. If only they are my real brothers and sisters. If only we were of same father.
Alright. I know. It's not an issue.
But if you are in my situation, I think you would totally agree with me. If you would call the separation as blessing in disguise, then you are definitely right. I need to move out of the house to settle and find a place of my own. Not an apartment to stay with like all those 20+ something usually do. But I need to find a family that would keep me. Yes. You got it right. A family. But it is not an issue of having someone to adopt me.
As I have already discussed in my earlier blogs, Mom got an issue on being a parent. Well, I admit that she does not really understand the meaning of parenting. I think she sees it as a synonym for power. authority. But I do not judge her for that. I love her still as a daughter but I cannot risk my entire life with this kind of love. She ruined my chance for happiness once and I would not allow it now. You can call me selfish or brat but if you were forced into a situation where lives could be bought for a mere 25,ooo pesos then it is fine with me. You might find it exaggerated, but it is true.
I don't want to create confusion now so I will tell you what I meant on my statement above. In a certain society where I used to lived, they got this traditional way of acquiring a wife. They find the best one (someone who got a degree with good family background) and compensate it with a amount that both party will agree with. The bride to be can have the privilege to know that a transaction is going on or if she is unfortunate, she might end up forced into taht kind of life. If you would call it that way.
I hope you got the picture now of what I am trying to explain here.
Oh dear, it's rude to stop in the middle of a story telling but I got tons of work to do and need to accomplished before the end of the day. So I got to go for now and maybe, tomorrow I will be able to finish this post.
Ciao!
posted by Tea at 3:42 AM
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